Tips for Moms:

3 Step Plan for Teaching Your Family Home Organization

Tips for Moms 1: SHARE THE IDEA WITH THE FAMILY

• Set a time to get together and discuss the changes you want to make. Let everyone know with plenty of advanced warning of at least one week. Post the event on your fridge, bathroom mirror etc. Advertise that you will be serving their favourite dessert or snack at the time to help them attend in some kind of positive frame of mind.
• Always discuss things with your spouse first before you present them at a family meeting. You want and NEED to come across unified and in agreement or nothing will work
• At your family meeting discuss the picture of the home and family you want and get input from your ‘team’ on how each of you can make it happen. Use a large sheet of paper to record your ideas. Also ask them what would make home a great place for them to live in too as well as sharing your own ideas.

Tips for Moms 2: CREATE THE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM

• Decide (with mom and dad having final say) what final list of delegated tasks will be and then begin asking for people to volunteer for particular tasks. It’s also good to have a guideline of what is expected from each person. Eg. If Mom is a stay at home mom she will take a big percentage of tasks followed by Dad, older children and then younger children. Assign remaining tasks out.
• Select what privileges will be available for each person when they keep to all their responsibilities each week without being reminded. These are great tips for moms as it's important to have some motivation to work towards. At this stage, it’s best not to use money.

  A family needs to learn that some things you do because you are a part of the family. You can have another list of jobs that children can do in order to earn pocket money. It’s important that they do a task in order to receive money so they don’t develop a lazy expectation of money. It will be a rude shock once they hit the real world otherwise.

• Offer each person results that will motivate them. For example, if you keep to your responsibilities each week (use the Family Rewards Chart in your Organized Womans Family Planner ) you can have a friend over, we can go away for a weekend, I’ll have more energy for my husband tonight etc. Think of the things your children like to do such as watch tv, play video games, call friends, go out with friends. Each of those are privileges and so make it clear that they only get to enjoy those sorts of things IF they have kept to their responsibilities.

• Define clearly how you want things to look once a job or task has been done so expectations are clear and you don’t have to still go around after everyone and do tasks over again
• Assign specific tasks to individuals with a clear and achievable goal. A comment like “just do your best” is not going to help. Children appreciate being able to be trusted with certain responsibilities and being left to do them and they work better if you give achievable and clear goals to reach. Eg, Cleaning Room – all cars in box, all clothes in dirty washing basket and bed made (with no bits of sheet sticking out). Remember to assign tasks according to skills, talents and age.
• Part of these tips for moms includes: be a support, encourager and a positive influence. Show your confidence in everyone’s ability to achieve what they need to do. Remember not to nag or be tempted to stress out. It will only take a couple of weeks of denied privileges according to what has been decided together and children won’t need reminding.

Tips for Moms 3: SET GROUND RULES

Children respond to rules very well. They need to know what their boundaries are. It doesn’t mean they won’t try to cross them (their way of seeing how serious you are in keeping them) but they find a lot of security from them and will perform better for having them. They know how they can earn praise and pleasure from their parents.

Without ground rules, children feel lost and will not know when they will get a positive or negative response from you. This will make them feel uncertain, even fearful.

Whatever rules you set as a family though, you ALL need to keep them. Mom and Dad included. If “shut up” or worse words are not accepted from your kids, then mom and dad, don’t go there also! If you aren’t meant to put your feet up on the coffee table then Dad, don’t try it just when you think the kids aren’t looking because they are sharp. Trust me, even my 3 year old catches us out on this one!

Be prepared to adapt these 'Tips for Moms" as your family grows larger and older. Kicking the little plastic ball around the house may not be an issue when they’re four but when they’re fourteen, stuff breaks no matter what size or type of ball!!!

Here is a list to help inspire you…

• No outside voices inside unless there is an emergency
• Put away what you take out (applies to kitchen, bedroom, every room!) For children’s personal items that never get put away, create a ‘Property Box’. Anything that doesn’t get put away is collected in the property box and can’t be claimed until…the end of the week, all jobs are completed correctly for the week etc
• Use nice manners for family members as well as guests
• Respect each other’s things. Ask if you want to use something and look after it. Replace it if you break it.
• Do your assigned jobs
• Treat each other as friends. No name calling and use a pleasant tone when talking to each other
• Knock before opening a closed door
• After meals, rinse your own dishes and put them in dishwasher
• Everyone participates in a once a week ‘common room’ clean up of all jointly used rooms
• Don’t leave wet towels on floor or in bedroom
• Clean up bathroom after yourself. Ie not leaving dirty clothes on floor or sink covered in makeup or splashed with water
• Let others know in advance if you want to watch particular programs on tv so there is no fights
• Don’t play loud music, use headphones
• Take thorough phone messages for each other
• Put rubbish in the bin

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